Heart of Fire
by girl with the sbahj tattoo
Summary: She was nothing more than a princess that fell for a man from the polar opposite kingdom. This is the story of how Kanaya Maryam fell, and how she fell hard.
1. Chapter 1

_I've been told that where there's love there is danger_  
_And giving you my heart would be painless_  
_I know nothing will last forever_  
_I still like the thought of being together_

* * *

… And then without any warning, she was running for her life. Through the expansive hallways, out through the colourful gardens and into the thick forest she went. She had her long, silk skirt hiked and bunched into a ball, the silk smooth and slippery underneath her fingertips. Her elegant shoes long abandoned, making her dainty feet thump against the ground, though it was only audible to her ears.

She didn't dare look over her shoulder, for she knew well that meant slowing her pace and a split second was all it took for her to no longer be of this world.

The thicket in the heavy wood was tearing her skirt and pale legs to shreds, but if she felt it, she did not make any indication of caring. Perhaps it was because she was too concerned on avoiding slamming into a tree on the moonless night.

Perhaps if the moon had been out, her skin would be glowing to make her look like an imp, or even a spirit that would make a traveler spread stories about the fair ghost that he saw for only an instant. "But there was no mistaking her face. Whoever she was in her past life, she had to have been a princess. Why else was she wearing a crown?"

Needless to say, stories such as that would have been greatly exaggerated, though always telling the same tale:

The maiden who nearly escaped, only to perish at the hand of her own family for loving a man she was ordered not to be with.

* * *

Living in silence and fear along with having to look over her shoulder nearly every minute of every day was taxing on Kanaya's health. Sure, she had been doing it for the better half of a decade, most presuming her to be dead which made her drop her guard from time to time, but never was it safe.

'Twas the life of a princess that fell for a man born in a kingdom that was not her own.

Not only that, but a kingdom that had been the polar opposite of hers in nearly every shape and form for centuries. However, the kingdoms were not enemies at the time of their first meeting (nor any of those following), but not allies either. They were Prospit and Derse, the sun and the moon, land and water. They were both created by two brothers back during a time when family values were a thing that was unheard of. Only blood mattered then to "make the kingdom strong" as her history books told her.

She herself was next in line to take over the throne, which would have made her the first woman to rule over her kingdom. That was all in the past, now.

It all began when she took a business trip to the next village over. Growing bored of all the political talk, she took a stroll through to see what the people in the land wanted to see changed in the government. Like every good princess, she never went out in her gowns. Only her street clothes that she made herself; a single print cotton dress and cloak. It helped for when a few civilians here and there recognized her. The royal family was known to have tan skin, dark hair, and large almond shaped eyes. The fact that her skin was pale helped, but most people that did notice her hardly said a word, too ensnared in the fat that the royal family was around.

After walking halfway across the village, talking to several business owners, and buying a new book for her library, she figured it was about time to head back to the mansion that she and her family were staying in. However, there was a somewhat large group of people surrounding what looked to be a puppeteer on the side of the road that caught her attention.

She went over to watch the show becoming fascinated over the show he was putting on he was putting on. He made his puppet hand her a lily that seemed to appear out of thin-air (she would later learn that the puppet's name was Little Calious, Lil cal for short, and he was the best friend of the puppeteer).

To her, it was the most flattering thing anyone had ever done for her without knowing who she was. Normally she would just be a regular woman on the street, but apparently she had caught his eye. The fact that she was royalty made it even more exciting, for having everyone waiting on her, hand and foot, was indeed one of the many perks of being being who she was, but having someone treat her as an everyday person never failed to make her feel happy inside.

But the day was drawing to a close, and she needed to return to her temporary home so she could entertain whatever guests her family decided to invite. Plus, the puppeteer was packing his puppet into the chest that she had seen him sitting on for the past half-hour as he entertained anyone who happened to stop and watch him make his living.

Thanking him for the lily, the pale woman tucked it into her cloak, making a mental reminder to press it into her journal. Only after being turned away for a moment, a hand clasped around her wrist accompanied by a "Please wait a moment, miss." She twisted her head to see who it was, only to see that it was the puppeteer.

"Yes?"

"What are the chances of a man like me knowing a lovely lady's name like yours?" He released her hand, giving a small smile as he shifted his weight. The only thing that he accomplished was making him appear a little bit taller and a smidge bit more attractive. "It's rude to ask for a ladies' name without giving your own, my good sir," a smirk found its way onto her lips.

A shade of pink blossomed over his cheeks, disappearing as soon as it came. "Of course, pardon me. Where are my manners?" He bowed down dramatically (his form was formal, however) and came back up again saying "Dirk Strider Ma'lady. Entertainer for the kingdom of Derse."

From that sentence alone, she knew that he was either a fool or did not give a single damn. Telling a person that they were from the opposite kingdom in the heart of Prospit was a generally frowned upon rule. Very much like her reading her books outside instead of sitting indoors all day, doing all sorts of boring paperwork.

With that stated, she decided that she had already taken a liking to this man, even after only learning his name.

Curtsying, she said "Kanaya." A royal princess never gave away her last name, but always her first. Most people gave no heed to the names of any princess, in line for the throne or not. Regardless, she immediately felt as if she could trust this man with that snippet of information, from Derse or otherwise.

That was how the relationship of Dirk Strider of Derse and Kanaya Maryam of Prospit began to end.

* * *

It was only the very next day she met with Dirk again in the same spot that they had their chance encounter. Only a bit of persuasion was done on his part to get her to meet him there with promise of a full tour of the small village. She guessed that it was because of her accent and skin colour that made him think she wasn't from the area, which was a bit rude to assume, but it only showed her that he was a perceptive person.

She rather fancied that quality in any person.

After she went to her temporary residence, she couldn't help but feel a bit giddy inside over the thought of spending the day with a Dersite. And it wasn't because he was from there. No, it was because he intrigued her. Had anyone known that she planned to do such a thing, she would have been given a "strong lecture" on trusting someone from the opposite kingdom and banned from ever seeing him again. To her, they were nothing but people who lived in a different region. People who had lives, worries, families, jobs, and customs just like Prospitians.

If only everyone on both sides of the kingdom could think the way that she did.

* * *

Kanaya awoke the next morning to the feel of the Sun's rays on her cheek, notifying her that it was sometime after dawn and she had overslept. Cursing under her breath (A true lady never spoke such obscenities aloud unless the moment called for it), she rushed to get dressed. Only half-way into her corset did she remember that she was meeting Dirk that day, and there was no need for her to get fancy. It seemed as if her restlessness and anxiousness caused her to forget all about him.

Since she was meeting him inside the town, there was no way that she could wear one of her elaborate and detailed dresses, which cut her preparation time into more than half. Small blessings those dresses were.

Skipping breakfast and heading straight to the heart of the village (not without telling her mother, of course), Dirk was there as he promised. He was a bit more fancily dressed than she was which made her feel a smidge of embarrassment and equally thrilled that he had some sort of fashion sense. There were a fine number of things she was fond of, and a man that could dress himself was near the top.

He did not notice her at first, so Kanaya took that time to study his features. His hair was pointed and tostled in the back as if he had spent the entire night tossing and turning (thinking back on it, it looked the exact same way the day before). He had a clean white tunic with an orange vest over it, black trousers and black boots adorned his legs and feet.

He was rather handsome for a jester, she thought. Perhaps he was related to the Derse's royal family in some sort of way. As a child, and even growing up, in attempt to strengthen the feeble political bonds between the two kingdoms, Dersite's would often come to the castle for a few weeks and she would always take note of their perfectly straight blonde hair and their porcelain skin. Kanaya herself was the odd ball of Prospit, having fair skin herself, an uncommon trait among her family. As a little girl, before she grew into a young woman, she would often fantasize the idea that she was taken from Derse and raised as a Prospitian. The books that she found on her mother's book shelf about such lore with fairytales and the like didn't do anything but help with that idea playing around in her head.

After only a few more moments, Dirk turned and saw Kanaya which snapped her out of her childhood fantasies. "Miss Kanaya," The man gave another over-dramatic bow, not raising himself until she curtsied. "Tell me Mr. Strider, what sort of things did you have in mind for today?"

"I figured we could go to the pub down the way," He pointed down the road at a sign that read _Saw and Tooth,_ "have an early lunch and get to know each other a little. Of course, only if that's alright with you Malady," He paused, "Perhaps we could take a stroll of the town if you're not tired of me by then."

He shot her a pearly white smile, and she couldn't help but to smile back.

"That sounds lovely."

* * *

The entirety of the day was spent in _Saw and Tooth._ They didn't take a stroll of any sort, unless a stroll was considered him getting her another drink before her glass of tea was even empty. He even pulled her chair out for her, which was a rare occurrence with the men that had tried to court her in her life. No, it was always servants that would do it for her, never whatever man her mother had tried to set her up with. None of the relationships lasted to say the least.

Those men were always more concerned with her blood, not of the things that she said and thought about. Dirk Strider hung onto her every word saying "You have a sharp mind." Her reply was only a smirk and a sip of her tea.

She learned that he wasn't so different from her as far as being a Dersite was concerned. He shared with her that he thought she herself was from there at first, judging by her pale skin of course. She wanted to tell him about the childhood fantasies that she had about being kidnapped from there because she looked different from her family, but that would be telling him that she was royalty and that was the last thing she wanted to do. Telling anyone from the opposite kingdom was a risky thing to do for anyone that lived and associated with the opposed monarchy.

Regardless, they continued to talk until it was time for her to go back to her home. He offered to take her there, but that too was an enormous risk. She wasn't staying in a cottage by any means with her family, so she had to decline. It clearly upset him a bit, so she promised him that she would meet him again at the same pub at the same time on the next day.

He bid her off with a bow and watched her back until she was no longer in sight. When she returned to her temporary home, she went straight to her bed chamber, claiming that she felt weary from walking all day, when really she wanted to gush over her new-found crush over the Strider. There was no telling how long it would last, so she relished in it for as long as she could.

She quickly fell asleep that night, dreaming of a certain man with striking blonde hair.

* * *

**(A/N: part 1 of ?. Writing this for tumblr user amperehope who had a birthday like, last week (whoops) and i figured you were probably tired of waiting and this is really fast paced which is making it really bad and im so sorry but ahhh i hope you like what i've got so far v_v xoxo happy late b-day and stuff. hahaha. **

**ah, the song at the top is called Heat Lightening by Icky Blossoms and its pretty sad and this is slightly sadstuck so I though that it fit mhm. but ahh im so nervous i really hope you like this mr. Rhaeme.)**


	2. Chapter 2

_And the wind began to blow_  
_And all the trees began to bend _  
_And the world, in its cold way_  
_Started coming alive _

* * *

The next morning came with a light drizzle falling from the sky, but that didn't stop her one bit from going out again. Her mother said not a word about her going out again, but silently encouraged it. If only she had known what her daughter was up to. It made Kanaya slightly uneasy.

Even so, she met him in front of _The Saw and Tooth_. Even with the streets muddy, they took the stroll that was promised to her the previous day through the village. This time she let him do the majority of the talking, and he certainly had a lot to say.

She learned about his older brother who was more like a dad to him that was a playwright. It was because of him that he had the job that he had now, and he told her that he secretly hated it, despite the money and the perks that came with it.

"Don't get me wrong, the king is a great and powerful man, but he's a bit of a jerkass," he confided to her. He afterwards would say that it felt safe to say that to her, regardless of the fact she was a Prospitian. "King Sollux is a bit buddy-buddy with my brother, so I guess I could be a little more grateful," she stifled a laugh at that remark, wondering if anyone at her castle felt that way about her.

When it was brought up if she did anything for a living, she told him that she was a seamstress. It wasn't a complete lie, since she did design and sew the majority of the things that she wore, so she didn't feel too bad about it. Well, not until she realized how great she had it. She was a princess. She got everything handed to her without any questions and there was Dirk, a man who worked for his living and had to keep quiet about his opinions unless he told someone of the opposite kingdom. And even then there are spies.

She felt selfish for even being next to this man.

That feeling didn't stop her from seeing him every day for the rest of time they were both in that village.

They spent their remaining time in Saw and Tooth, talking back and forth about anything and everything. They talked about her books and sewing, and he talked about his puppet building and how he wanted the two kingdoms to come together as one. She felt the same, but she also knew the likelihood of that actually happening was slim to none.

They could dream though, couldn't they?

* * *

"You're feeling more chipper than usually, Kanaya," Kanaya's mother, Porrim, said a few days after they returned to their home in the heart of Prospit. They were the only two in the library, reading together in a content silence. Kanaya was reading a history book of sorts about Derse in hopes of understanding her new found crush more, whilst Porrim read one of her unmarked books that were written in a language only she and Kanaya understood. Of course, Porrim knew it exceptionally more so than her child for she had studied it more than Kanaya.

Kanaya only gave a knowing smile to her mother at her remark and continued to read a bit more before she asked to be excused. "What for?" was her mothers' quick reply. Porrim was always sharper than her daughter. "I need to write a few letters, mother," That too was a lie (She was getting rather used to doing that now), but her mother waved her off, but not without watching her every step until she opened the lard wooden doors that led into the expansive corridor.

Kanaya walked with a skip in her step to her bedroom that doubled as her personal study. When she reached the jade green doors, she glanced around her to see if anyone was around. There was nothing to be paranoid of, since no one knew of her secret. That was exactly what she was afraid of, though.

She entered her room, quietly closed the doors, and walked straight to her made bed, reaching underneath the mattress to pull out a small, leather knapsack. She held it close to her chest and quickly walked over to her desk that was littered in an assortment of paper, pens, and a few toys she had as a child.

She opened the sack and dumped it onto her desk. Inside was a scrap of paper that had an address written in clean, precise writing, a wooden figurine that vaguely resembled her, and a hair pin that was in the shape of a feather. Those were the things that she had left of Dirk; things that he gave to her during the two weeks that they had known each other.

She picked up the small scrap of paper with both of her hands and smiled ridiculously to herself, but then stopped. She was a princess. Princesses didn't act like love-struck fools.

Conceivably she was an exception to that unspoken rule, for she continued to smile as she looked at the words that were intended for only her.

_"Kanaya," Dirk had said the last night that they were together, laying side by side in the dew covered grass watching the stars disappear as the sun started to show itself from behind the trees. She turned her head to him, her hair falling over her forehead. She didn't have to say anything to him "Would it be alright if I wrote you?" he had asked her, his voice completely calm. She twisted her head again to look back up at the sky that had hues of pink and purple. Before giving a direct answer, she lightly squeezed the hand that was intertwined with her own. "I was wondering when you were going to ask."_

_She was joking with him, of course, but that didn't stop him from leaning over so fast to place a small kiss where her hair was falling over her forehead. It happened so fast she didn't realize her head was spinning from it until he too squeezed her hand with the smallest of chuckles escaping from his mouth._

That event that transpired only a few days ago still sat fresh in her mind as she continued to admire Dirk's handwriting. It was much different than how she expected it to be. Where her own writing was curvy and consistent, his was sharp and showed her that he was enigmatic. That was a quality that she could love in any person.

Placing the piece of paper to the side, she picked up the wooden figurine that he had carved for her as they sat in the pub together. She sat quietly reading her book as she sat beside him on the bar. Every once in a while he would ask her to read out loud, even though he had never read the book before and even though there was no way that he could keep up with the story, she read to him anyway. Kanaya suspected it was because the blonde-haired man enjoyed the sound of her voice.

At a later date Kanaya would find out she was correct.

Running her fingers over the smooth lines etched into the wood, she place it on top of the scrap of paper.

The last thing that had fallen out of the bag was the hair clip. There wasn't much significance behind it other than the fact that there had been a vendor out that was selling them, and it caught her eye. It gleamed jade flakes that were placed over the silver feather, mixed with what looked to be tiny orange diamonds. She found it lovely how the colours corresponded. But since she was playing the role of a woman that lived in the village, there was no way she could waltz up and buy it without the chance of blowing her cover, so she looked away.

But Kanaya looking over it didn't escape Dirk's eye.

He took her by her hand and walked over to where the man had set up shop and bought it for her, despite her protests. "Every princess deserves something nice," was his only argument. For a moment she thought that she was caught, but the smile that spread over his face reassured her that her secret was still safe. For then, anyway.

He placed it in her hair, standing back to tell her "It looks lovely when you wear it, Kanaya." His words sent a chill down her spine. She did her best to channel it somehow and she did succeed by giving him one of her biggest smiles. "Well of course, I'm a princess aren't I?"

The double meaning of her words was only caught by her. Because of that, Dirk gave a small laugh, leading her through the village.

She knew that a memory like that was one that she would probably remember for the rest of her life, however long that would be. She put the clip into her hair, admiring herself in the hand mirror that she dug up from underneath the piles of paper. One day she would sort out everything, but today was not that day.

Today was the day that she was going to write her first letter to Dirk Strider.

_Dearest Dirk, _

_It's only been a few days since I last saw you, although it feels like it's been over a year..._

* * *

**(A/N: short chapter because I have other fics to work on, and i felt like this was an appropriate cliffhanger. and yes all of you will get to see the letter than she wrote to him, and his reply. but i refuse to say when ;). **

**the more that i write this, the more that i feel like its going to turn into a very long fic and i dont know how thats gonna turn out bu go. **

**This story is also on AO3 now if anyone wants to read it there, but it will always be a chapter behind hahahah. **

**The song at the top is Woke Up New by The Mountain Goats. I hope you guys liked this, and if you dont mind leave me some feedback v_v xoxoxo)**


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